Everyone, Stop What You’re Doing: The MatrixShop is Open!

By: Martha | July 13th, 2007

I love you.

If the internet at work started moving really, really slowly about an hour ago and you wondered what was going on, I have your answer. The day we’ve been waiting for is here, friends; our collective waiting it is at an end: At long last, the shop at Marco Materazzi’s official website is finally open, and people the world over are knocking down its virtual doors. Can I get a “Hell, yeah!”, please?

Though some of the items are disappointingly tasteful (the tshirts are legitimately pretty cool, in my humble opinion), the true Matrix comes out on the awesome ladies hoodie pictured above. For the gangsta female Martix fan in your life, clearly, it features his name and hilarious logo embroidered on the back, along with a smaller logo on the front. Frankly, I almost want one — despite the glittery thread, I have a feeling wearing it would make me much more badass than I actually am. (And, just perhaps, mysteriously able to resist all but the most powerful headbutts.) Apart from the clothing, there are totally obvious footballer homepage shop items like … Inter chocolate, World Cup chocolate and, most utterly brilliant, Matrix freakin’ wine.

There’s one flaw in the awesomeness, though: The website minions won’t ship to the US. Damn them to hell — I WANT MY GODDAMN MATRIX WINE.