Zlatan Death Threat!

You heard it here first, people, Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s life will be in danger tomorrow night when he takes the pitch in Reggina. Or at least it will be if certain people have their way.

Reggina defender Salvatore Aronica has revealed to the press his secret plan for stopping the unstoppable Swede: Murder. Said, Aronica, “I’d need a gun to stop him.” Gosh, and all this time we’ve thought the danger was in the stands — maybe instead of banning supporters and Ultras, the FIGC need to start taking a look at certain speedy backs with homicidal urges, hmm?

Even if Aronica does go all Dick Cheney on Zlatan, though, Reggina are going to have their hands full with Inter. Having managed to secure only four points from the first seven games, Reggina aren’t exactly striking fear into anyone’s hearts, and are leaking goals like crazy, having given up more than everyone except for poor, useless Livorno. Of course, Inter will have about two healthy defenders available tomorrow, so if Reggina can get the ball forward you never know what’s going to happen.

Sorry. Can you tell there’s not much going on today?

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Category: Inter, Rumors & News, Serie A