Kaka Talks Frankly About His Sex Life; Makes the Masses Very Uncomfortable

By: Martha | June 5th, 2007

You know, I can totally respect that Ricky Kaka belongs to Jesus (though the media’s obsession with photos of him talking to The Man Upstairs does sort of creep me out). And I can respect the fact that he and his wife were virgins when they married, because the Bible told them to wait. I also really appreciate his intelligence, honestly and borderline-freakish serenity — all three are impressive in anyone, let alone a kid of 25. But, Ricky? Next time someone asks you about your wedding night, can you please just tell them it’s private, and leave it at that? I don’t care how saintly or pretty you are, man, no one needs to read about blood exchange (I’m praying that’s not what it sounds like), and how that first night with your wife was “the … beautifulst.” Don’t get me wrong — it’s totally sweet and everything, but there is such thing as too much information. And that, Ricky? That’s it. Waaaay too much. I swear we really don’t care. Or want to know.

For those of you who haven’t run off to scrub your brain at being forced to read about such things (sorry), in an interview with the Italian Vanity Fair, Kaka also shares the key to the success of his marriage: Reading, and never going to clubs in Milan without his wife. Got that, young lovers? Always have a book with you, and members of the opposite sex will know you take your vows seriously.

If that’s too pure and goody-goody for you, there at least is this: At some point in the days after the wedding, Silvio Berlusconi leered at Mrs. Kaka and announced it was too bad she was already married. (Silvio! You old dog, you!) Even now Ricky seems less than amused by the story, though he at least can acknowledged that the Lord of Milan “corrected himself” shortly thereafter. (Clearly he saw Caroline’s book and realized the mistake he had made.)

Category: AC Milan, Rumors & News, Serie A

Tags: AC Milan, Berlusconi, Ricky Kaka, Rumors -amp; News, Serie A, Vanity Fair

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Comments  

• Bob |  June 5th, 2007 at 1:23 pm

  
  
  

  How much do you have to pay Google translate to refer to you as the “endowed boy”?

  Posted from United States

  

• Mike |  June 5th, 2007 at 1:30 pm

  
  
  

  I love “Task to have worked well and to deserve it, but is not that the night does not sleep us. My serenity does not depend on a prize”. Luckily MY serenity does, and that line is first place.

  Posted from United States

  

• Lisa |  June 5th, 2007 at 1:37 pm

  
  
  

  Wait, what? “Endowed boy”? I’m going to start running Gazzetta articles through Google translate just for the fun of seeing the crazy it comes up with. (”Moscow Bianca”?)

  Posted from United Kingdom

  

• mele419 |  June 5th, 2007 at 2:05 pm

  
  
  

  wow, he really does belong to Jesus. 25 years celibate? Well I lost by about 10 years. Well good luck to him though, I hope they can manage to stay together!

  Posted from United States

  

• Nelly |  June 5th, 2007 at 2:58 pm

  
  
  

  Too much information! Didn’t need to know that! Thanks for the mental picture!

  It’s not your fault, though, Martha. You have to report it.

  Posted from United States

  

• Ady |  June 5th, 2007 at 4:12 pm

  
  
  

  Oh my. I keep poking at this in morbid fascination. All I can say is I’m glad it was worth the wait. TMI.

  Oh and Martha, I commend you for wading through the horrors of google translate on our behalf. I haven’t made it through a single article. It gets too strange and I just sort of wander off…

  Posted from United States

  

• Martha |  June 6th, 2007 at 1:18 am

  
  
  

  Thank you, Ady, it is an enormous struggle. (Poor me.) The Kaka article sat on my desktop all day, being avoided because the thought of trying to sort through it was so daunting. I’ve noticed that having a glass (or four) of wine on-hand helps a lot, though. You might try that.

  Posted from Portugal

  

• Clint |  June 6th, 2007 at 6:12 am

  
  
  

  I have to drink coffee before I read these things. The first pass through I skipped a few sentences and thought I saw “Goat, young lovers?” Then, I went back to the title of this post and decided this wasn’t for me. But, you’ll be happy to hear I gutted it out and re-read the page, a b i t m o r e s l o w l y this time and discovered, to my shock and outrage, that there were no goats involved AT ALL.

  Also, I’m getting confirmation that it was NOT Kaka who attacked the popemobile.

  Posted from United States

  

• roswitha |  June 8th, 2007 at 5:07 am

  
  
  

  though the media’s obsession with photos of him talking to The Man Upstairs does sort of creep me out

  But the media is *always* obsessed with Kaka. He doesn’t exactly play down his religious leanings. Do not you think this?

  Posted from United States

  

• Martha |  June 8th, 2007 at 5:24 am

  
  
  

  Oh no, I totally agree, roswitha — Evangelical Christians are not exactly quiet about their faith. I just don’t think ever newspaper needed to run a picture (our four) of the whole I BELONG TO JESUS thing.

  Posted from Portugal

  

• mohmmed |  September 16th, 2007 at 1:30 pm

  
  
  

  i need talke wethe kaka

  Posted from Saudi Arabia

  

• Kaka Heads 2006-2007 FIFPro World XI - Serie A - The Offside - Soccer News and Opinion from leagues around the world |  October 5th, 2007 at 11:31 am | Pingback

  
  
  

  [...] season, helping to guide AC Milan to a Champions League title, while also letting us all know about his sex life. Quite the year, [...]

  Posted from United States

  

• Obinna |  October 9th, 2007 at 5:48 am

  
  
  

  Who really cares if both of you are virgins before getting married, moreover we weren’t there to confirm that. I think it makes no sense, if it did, the press would have been right inside the room and watch them do it. Only Jesus knows who will see him on the last day.

  Posted from United States

  

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