AIA Call Out the Big Guns For Credibility’s Sake: Collina is Back
By: Martha | July 6th, 2007
After spending several months last season as an unofficial consultant to the Italian Referees’ Association (AIA), it’s been revealed that Hairless God of Referees Pierluigi Collina (Ans.it wants us to know that, in addition to being a great referee, “his trim figure and masterful personality have made him a sex symbol for many women.”) will be introduced next week as the new designator of referees, a position which was brought into no little disrepute by last summer’s Calciopoli scandal.
With Collini — AKA Mr. Credibility — in the position, the hope is that Italian referees will finally be above suspicion. [I'll pause here while you take a moment to laugh hysterically.] At the very least, one hopes Collini is rich enough not to be swayed by any bribes he might be offered, and values his good reputation to such a degree that he’ll resist the temptations that swayed men before him. And, on the off-chance he’s as clean as his reputation suggest, it could be that people will actually leave him alone instead of trying to persuade him to assign “friendly” referees, and do them other illegal favors. Boy, that’d be a switch, huh? Imagine, a season free of angry rants about referees that cut uncomfortably close to the truth.
Shockingly, Luciano Moggi (who doesn’t exactly occupy the high ground when it comes to referees and corruption) is already bitching about the appointment. Of course he is. Nothing is ever easy, is it?
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That guy next to Ljunberg? That’s two in one day. Ronaldo, twice. Adriano, all in the last few days……
Seriously woman, are you blind or losing your memory? :)
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United States
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Oh, well Ronaldo doesn’t count — that’s morbidly fascinating, not hot. And the guy next to Freddie was a freaking STREAKER! Also doesn’t count. With your porn reference I thought you meant, you know, hot nakedness — Canna’s the only one on that ledger. (And I hope you appreciate how easy it would have been for me to feature a shirtless, sweaty Freddie. But did I? NO.)
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Portugal -
Details details details……
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United States -
You forgot topless Bobo.
And Godzilla has a porn addiction?! My, the news we miss on the west coast…
Martha, if I come across anything good, I’ll pass it along to you.
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United States -
He carries around a briefcase of porn and reportedly has a collection of 3000 videos at home.
This was all in Time’s Asian edition from his mouth, confirmed by others.
What do you expect from a Yankee?
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United States -
Awesome, Ady — keep your eyes open! (And Bobo doesn’t count either, because he never wears a shirt.)
Chris, that is HORRIFYING. I can’t remember the last time I was so freaked out by something I learned about an athlete. I may spent the night staring at the wall shaking instead of sleeping now. JESUS.
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Portugal -
Oh my!! A briefcase full of porn? That’s too funny! And 3,000 videos must take up a lot of space… So perhaps he’s converted the wine cellar to accomodate them all. Or perhaps he built a special room adjacent to the home theater.
And the Yankees… Considering they steal all our best players, I expect very little.
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United States -
CARRIES around a briefcase of porn? WHY, just in case he’s bored during a rain-delay, or stuck in a plane on the runway, or just bored at church and wants to look at porn with Der-Rod?
I got some new chants cooking up for when they next visit at Shea, and you can bet they’ll be creative… Like maybe “porrrrrrrr-noooooo”
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United States -
Mike, I’m coming with. We’re making signs.
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Portugal -
And, of course, he likes to watch his much vaunted porno collection, tapes that he often trades with Japanese reporters. As one Japanese journalist put it, describing Matsui’s affinity for such unique Japanese cultural institutions like the no-panties shabu-shabu in Japan, “Matsui is a horny guy. All of us are horny, more or less. But Matsui doesn’t attempt to hide the fact.” Yet another win for the Japanese Everyman.
http://www.time.com/time/asia/2003/heroes/hideki_matsui.html
You’re welcome (the briefcase thing may be an urban legend, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to tell anybody and everybody about that one)
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I suppose a massive pron habit is better than the Wilt Chamberlain approach, right? At least he’s not impregnating anyone, and doing his part to reduce the spread of disease.
Speaking of, Chris, did you see the Quags interview in last week’s La Gazzatta magazine (whatever it’s called) in which he talked about his affinity for blondes, and his one night stands with fans? Classy, classy guy.
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Very nice Martha. I like the way you neatly steered the discussion back to Serie A. If not to family oriented topics…
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United States -
No, actually I didn’t. I don’t look at La Gazzetta often.
Though it doesn’t surprise me. He’s always struck me as one of those disingenuous guys who is really a dirtbag but plays a nice guy on TV.
On an indirectly related not, Rosina to Roma rumors are back and running.
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Thank you Ady, I do try. (Though I’m all about talking baseball, just not about Matsui and porn. *shudder*)
For no concrete reason whatsoever, I’m entirely sure Rosina is not a dirtbag. But I’d really like to see him at a slightly lower tier club than Roma, so he can become king of the smallish world rather than playing second-fiddle to Totti or De Rossi (at least in your weird, Roma-love hearts) all the time. Palermo, say, or Fiorentina.
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That article’s FKN HILARIOUS. They paint this beautiful immaculate picture of a really humble and unselfish gentleman, a true hero of real-life ethics, the kind of guy you’d let your sister date, only to hide a tiny innocent little sentence that reads
“Indeed, his only eccentricity, if it can be called that, is his extensive private library of adult videos.”
I don’t know what you’d call it, but despite mention of a briefcase, can I still call it creepy?
Oh, in a recent interview with Bobo they asked him if he watches adult films, to which he responded “Watch them, I star in them! Oh, and I definitely want to play for Roma next season… Well, maybe not play, but definitely be on their salary… err, team.”
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I didn’t mean to imply Rosina was a d-bag, just that he and FQ have been constantly linked to Roma as “one of the two will come.”
My b.
Mike, I give you an ABBA video and this is how you repay me? Teasing me like this?
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United States -
So I stop by the Offside for a little soccer news. See a thread that has thirty (THIRTY!!) comments. Think something REALLY BIG must be going on with the clean referee. And find myself instead eavesdropping on a four-way conversation about Yankees and porn fetishes.
Aren’t Fridays wonderful?
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United States -
I’m with Laurie – poor old Collina. Who I’m sure doesn’t have a super-extensive collection of porn, some of which he carries around in a brief case.
(You’re welcome for any mental images that may bring up.)
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Australia -
Apologies for starting this whole mess. But, in my defense, Martha did start a debate over on my post today regarding the validity of calling Sergio Ramos ‘hot as balls.’
It’s only fair that I bring her site down to the same level.
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United States -
Sorry Chris – I didn’t mean to cause trouble and I’m a bit guilty for instigating. *cough* But it was a truly boring afternoon at work and Matui’s porn addiction was far more interesting.
And you have a page as well? On La Liga I take it?
Or would you prefer that I never find it?Posted from
United States -
Wow,like Laurie, I thought that there was something important about the referee going on (34 comments!)
though the last time this happened, it was about the same sort of topicBut it’s good to see that Collina is still around!
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What is this? Some kind of contest to see who can strike out more words? Well I’m way more betterer at it than you.For the record, I do the AS Roma offside thingy. And you’re welcome to come join the festivities, Ady. It’s the resident offside nut house.
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United States -
I don’t check back for one afternoon and you guys have a thread going featuring Bobo and porn collections? (Chris, I’m almost afraid to ask, but why would “hot as balls” not be a valid way to describe SR? Or any really hot guy?)
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Italy -
THANK YOU LISA. I rest my case, Chris.
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Portugal -
Wait, how is this my fault? I never made an argument, just stated a fact.
Here I go and try a good thing by bringing briefcases of porn into an otherwise miserable news day and this is the thanks I get? See if I ever give you briefcases of porn ever again.
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United States
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