Champions League: And the Spies Are Out

By: Martha | May 22nd, 2007

God n Cup I don’t know who, exactly (though I do have some ideas), Milan have tracking Liverpool as they make their way around Athens and go through their training paces, but said spy is impressively thorough. Witness, for example, this detailed report on the Reds’ movements this morning: “Coach Benitez and his players left Hotel Pentelikon for a short walk this morning at 11am in the centre of the city of Kifissia, Athens. The team then stopped for a coffee at a bar. Dutch star Bolo Zenden was limping slightly, drawing attention to the precarious condition of his right ankle.” (Not included here are commentary on Hyypia’s hair, Gerrard’s posture and Benitez’s accent, but I’m quite confident those items were carefully enumerated in the full report.)

After they finished coffee and went off to training, meanwhile, neither team offered any clues as to who would make up their first eleven. Instead, both coaches cleverly mixed up training bib colors or made all the strikers train together, thus denying all the spying journalists who thought they’d come away with a scoop. About the only thing we’ve learned all day is that Liverpool don’t plan to man-mark Kaka. So says that sneaky Rafa Benitez, anyway. Why he’d say anything with Carlo Ancelotti lurking right outside is a mystery to me — clearly that “revelation” is a cleverly placed lie, intended to make Ricky Kaka relax into dreams of a wide-open midfield, only to have Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano appear and foil all of his clever plans. Ahem.

While not spying on Liverpool, training or engaging in reassuringly opinion and information-free press conferences, the Rosoneri have been in their bunker-like, heavily guarded hotel, engaged in a strict regime of eating, massage (though the latter only for one lucky player) and absolutely no penetration. Or, if you will, “After the breakfast are themselves dedicate you to the stretching. Massages for someone and much swimming pool. Therefore the lunch. Impossible to penetrate, to collect feelings.”

Less than 24 hours to go, people. Less than 24 hours to go.