Delicious Breakfast Rumors (And a Bit of News)

By: Martha | December 9th, 2006

Xian •Not so fast, Inter — Juve, too, are interested in ~~the media circus that follows David Beckham around~~ bringing England’s most famous aging winger to Italy. Or if they’re not, they should be. This according to the Turin-based newspaper which this morning published an article rounding up the club’s various (alleged) transfer targets and urging that Beckham be added to the list. What they feel he could add to the team, apart from publicity, is unclear. In addition to the depressed Real man, Juve’s supposed most-wanted list includes: Klose, Frings, Walter Samuel, Andrea Barzagli, Gilardino (Hmm — perhaps Juve are the blackmailers, demanding he join the club to save himself pictorial humiliation?), Javier Mascherano and Rio Antonio Mavub. What, that’s it?

•More chatter about Luis Figo from the US this week: Following the supposed disinterest of the moronic New York Red Bulls — once thought to be the frontrunners to sign the Inter man — Figo’s name has been mentioned in connection with the New England Revolution (who, unlike the Red Bulls, are actually a good) and the Chicago Fire. If I can’t have him here in NY, the Revs might be a good fit: There’s a large Portuguese population in the region (driving from Providence, RI to Cape Cod, MA, you pick up several Portuguese radio stations) which would surely be thrilled by Figo’s arrival, and it’d be nice to see him wrap up his career in a good side surrounded by reasonably talented players.

•Meanwhile, on the other side of Milan, Ancelotti is pissed, Berlusconi is sanguine — guess which one is more in touch with reality. The rational one is still harping on his team’s appalling performance against Lille last week, lamenting the lack of passion, fouls (They actually got through the game with their foul total in single digits — who knew such a thing was possible?), and teamwork and making it very clear that sort of crap is unacceptable. Can I get an amen? Berlusconi, meanwhile, is still blaming all the problems on injuries, and sweetly telling the media that Ancelotti’s job is safer than safe — he is, and I quote, “untouchable.” Watch your back, Carlo. Watch your back.

•In the comments earlier this week, Bob and Luis both mentioned a rumor suggesting that, in addition to every other damn player on earth, Inter are also trying to lure Cristiano Ronaldo to Milan. Though denials that appear in the press mean next to nothing these days, Ronaldo insisted yesterday that he’s happy as a clam in England and would never dream of leaving. He did, however, leave the door wide open by adding “But in football you never know what is going to happen next.” Eeeeeeexcellent. Because I know you are on tenderhooks wondering how I feel about all this, I’ll share my very complex feelings on the matter: WOO HOO! Yes, he’s a pretty boy. Yes, he dives. But who cares? I hated him, too, until I went to Euro 2004 and saw him play in person several times — the kid is blindingly talented and tough as nails. If Inter did managed to grab him, the league would get that much better, and people would want to kick his ass at all times, so there’d be all sorts of tension and nastiness on the pitch. What’s not to like?