Everyone, Stop What You’re Doing: The MatrixShop is Open!
By: Martha | July 13th, 2007
If the internet at work started moving really, really slowly about an hour ago and you wondered what was going on, I have your answer. The day we’ve been waiting for is here, friends; our collective waiting it is at an end: At long last, the shop at Marco Materazzi’s official website is finally open, and people the world over are knocking down its virtual doors. Can I get a “Hell, yeah!”, please?
Though some of the items are disappointingly tasteful (the tshirts are legitimately pretty cool, in my humble opinion), the true Matrix comes out on the awesome ladies hoodie pictured above. For the gangsta female Martix fan in your life, clearly, it features his name and hilarious logo embroidered on the back, along with a smaller logo on the front. Frankly, I almost want one — despite the glittery thread, I have a feeling wearing it would make me much more badass than I actually am. (And, just perhaps, mysteriously able to resist all but the most powerful headbutts.) Apart from the clothing, there are totally obvious footballer homepage shop items like … Inter chocolate, World Cup chocolate and, most utterly brilliant, Matrix freakin’ wine.
There’s one flaw in the awesomeness, though: The website minions won’t ship to the US. Damn them to hell — I WANT MY GODDAMN MATRIX WINE.
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Comments
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Credit card debt here I come!
Posted from
United States
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You and me both, Bob. I’m only marginally ashamed to admit my total was over €100 when the Europe-only shipping thing crushed my dreams.
Posted from
Portugal -
wow,I want my Matrix wine too. and the only thing that could be better than Matrix chocolate would be, Zlatan chocolate.
Posted from
United States -
Danielle, you’re preaching to the choir here, trust me.
Posted from
Portugal -
Speaking of Zlatan Martha, I noticed while looking for quotes last night there were a lot of pictures floating around of him with one woman. I’m assuming this is his wife/fiance? Who, for my money, is nothing special.
http://www.aftonbladet.se/sport/0609/22/SPORT-23s99-zlatan-123_438.jpg
Could Zlatan be truly the quiet, moral, classy guy some people say he is? No skanky WAG?
Oh, and Matrix wine is nice, but Totti has his own magazine. Beat that.
Posted from
United States -
Yup, she’s not sexy at all.
http://www.soccerpulse.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=17121&st=780
Posted from
United States -
I’m 99% sure that’s his wife — a totally normal chick he dated in secret for ages in an effort to protect her from the media. Yes, it’s true: Underneath all the “Do you know Zlatan?” he’s actually a very good dude. (And it’s our job to make sure no one finds out.)
A point for Matrix: You don’t need to be able to speak Italian to enjoy the wine.
Posted from
Portugal -
This is a travesty. Somebody who speaks/writes Italian well (I’m rather brutal, I am looking at you Chris) needs to post a comment to them about the untapped Matrix money across the Atlantic. Seriously, I need to be pimping ou on the el wearing the tuba http://www.mm23.it/product/12/1/0/0/0/0/tuba.aspx. Nobody would think I am crazy or anything.
Posted from
United States -
Why can’t I buy the Matrix Chest Protector on the website?
Wait, did I just make like a billion dollars for Marco? Fuck.
Posted from
United States -
MIKE! You speak Italian! SEND A FREAKING EMAIL! I emailed them in English asking nicely if they would ever ship to the US, but they’re ignoring me and it’s clearly time to bring out the big guns. I want one of those hideous jackets, goddammit.
(And please put the chest protector idea in a different email. Just in case it makes him pissy, or something.)
Posted from
Portugal -
a) I think 50% of the population had that chest protector idea.
b) If you think I’m going to do anything which would advance the bankability of ANYONE on Internazionale FC (even a WC hero), you’re fucking crazy.
c) A little secret, my “speaking” of Italian is poor. My writing is also not so hot, but after 5 years of Latin in Jr HS & HS I can easily read almost any Italian and figure it out after quickly perusing a short vocab book. Writing an email should probably go to someone else.
Posted from
United States -
I think I may have found the best picture of Zlatan’s wife yet…..
http://svt.se/content/1/c6/52/87/78/grynet10_500×350.jpg
(FTR, I don’t walk around with an Italian vocab book in my pocket, I mean I read one awhile ago. Because that would be quite cheesy)
Posted from
United States -
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I’m revealing way too much by knowing this, but that’s not his wife, it’s the host of a weird TV show on which he appeared when he played for Ajax (I think it’s that old). She made a big picnic for him and everything. And he was unbelievably sweet to her — what with her not being a journalist and all — and totally indulgent of her pink sweater-wearing Zlatan-love. (The video’s at YouTube, I’m surprised you’ve not found it by now, Chris.)
Posted from
Portugal -
I was joking. My eyesight isn’t wonderful but I can actually see the difference between his wife and that woman.
Yeesh.
And that is in Amsterdam arenA, so I would assume it’s from the Ajax days. That and he looks like he still isn’t able to shave yet.
Posted from
United States -
Mmmhm. Sure you were, Chris.
(Alright, I admit it — I’ve seen pictures of Mrs. Z, but I retain nothing and have no idea what she looks like. I figured picnic girl could actually look a bit like her. Hence your obvious confusion.)
Posted from
Portugal -
Mrs Z - named Helena Seger - is an awesome, awesome woman 12 years his senior with a personality to match his who is on the board of at least one major company.
(Not sure why I know that, but hey, it makes me appreciate him more.)
Posted from
Australia -
Nice, thanks Linda! I’d already informed Chris of her general awesomeness, but had no idea she was THAT impressive. So, what does she do? Was she on the board pre-Ibra? I’m totally intrigued.
Posted from
Portugal -
When the hell did you inform me of her general awesomeness? Are you just making stuff up to make your self look good?
This is like when my mom chastised me for following my dreams instead of being a doctor or a scientist. Then when everything worked out and it was clear I made the right decision she told everybody, “Yeah, I told him to do it.”
Posted from
United States -
HAA!! Totally the same, yes. Your mom and I actually discussed that before I posted. (And I am NOT making things up, at some point I confirmed that his wife was just a normal chick who he had dated in secret for a long time in order to protect her from the press. Is this ringing any bells? Clearly you just ignore my highly incisive comments.)
Also, this is where you need to tell us what you do that’s not being a doctor or a scientist but nevertheless worked out. And if it’s Roma blogging I want your agent.
Posted from
Portugal -
“At some point I confirmed that his wife was just a normal chick who he had dated in secret for a long time in order to protect her from the press.”
That in no way implies her general awesomeness unless you mean to say dating Zlatan indirectly implies general awesomeness. Which I can accept but nevertheless know is not what you meant at all.
I’m a gigolo. Still want my agent?
Posted from
United States -
Normal chick = awesomeness in the world of WAGs. Ala Canna’s wife. They’re the only two. Oh, and Mrs. DDR.
And your mom definitely didn’t mention that were a gigolo.
Posted from
Portugal -
There are actually plenty. Mrs. Grosso, despite her immense giftedness, Mrs. Zambro is not a showgirl or a model, in fact an athlete.
I’m surprised she didn’t mention it, she’s very proud.
Posted from
United States
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