Fiorentina v Milan: Forget the Game, Let’s Kill Ray Hudson

By: Martha | December 16th, 2006

Mooootooooo Reasons Ray Hudson should never be allowed near an open mic again:

1)He either doesn’t know what “brave” means, or doesn’t know any other adjectives. Either way, Ray, it’s not “brave” to pass the ball to a midfielder. Nor is it “brave” to shoot from 20-odd yards. What’s “brave” is spending 90 minutes listening to you. (Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Try the roast beef!)

2)He’s being paid to talk, not fellate Luca Toni. (Depressingly, he’s capable of doing both. At this point, I’d be happier if he’s concentrate on the latter since doing it well would render him unable to speak.)

3)”Puts his machete back in his jockstrap. Mutu. Getting cleaned out by that man there. Hard. Gattuso.” Enough said.

The game, which was barely visible through the Hudson bullshit, was a strange one. Milan were depressingly flat, as has become their norm. Fiorentina, on the other hand, seemed reasonably lively, and looked confident and creative in attack. They were awesomely organized on defense and, for the most part, easily denied Milan good looks at goal. The thing is, though, that the final score was 2-2. So, does that mean Milan are still good enough to take points, even when they play poorly? Or that Fiorentina aren’t as good as their record? I can’t tell. All I can say is that Mutu is in terrifyingly good form, it’s often a pleasure to watch Fiorentina, and Milan are a mess.

The only player in red and black who stood out for me (in a positive way — were Pirlo and Kaka even on the pitch in the second half?) was Brocchi, who plays with a quiet, uncomplaining determination that I found oddly inspiring. He’s not worried about the injustice of the injuries, or of hitting the woodwork more than any other team in the league — he’s worried about working his ass off every second he’s on the field. Right now he’s keeping it simple, doing the little things right and hoping to firm up the foundation of the team. Everyone else can try to play like the old Milan — he’s just going to win the ball, make good passes (he created Gilardino’s first goal with a gorgeous through ball), and run. Which, particularly when everyone else is either pouting or looking around wondering how they fell this low, is pretty awesome to see.