Fiorentina v Udinese: Problemi Muscolare

By: Martha | February 11th, 2007

Caged Montolivio In case you were wondering why Luca Toni and Adrian Mutu were both absent from Fiorentina’s teamsheet today, the above is your answer. Problemi muscolare. I know this because the RAI announcer developed a verbal tic that rendered him unable to mention either man’s name without that of the other or the phrase “problemi muscolare.” So, every time a Fiorentina striker touched the ball, or the cheery duo were shown in the stand, or the empty Fiorentina ground echoed with idle shouts, the announcers would say “ToniMutuproblemimuscolare.” It was both deeply disconcerting and very helpful, because it took me about seven repetitions of his ritualistic phrase to figure out what he was saying.

In other news:

•The Fiorentina ground is DREADFUL. They actually have temporary, metal stands set up in front of the built-in seats, in an effort to either expand the ground’s capacity or bring a few of the fans closer to the action (it’s one of the stadia with a track, which leaves the fans miles from the pitch). That place is crying out to be rebuilt, it’s really an embarrassment.

•Remember how, at the start of the season, Palermo were so confident and flowing and fun to watch? That’s Fiorentina now. Even without Mutu and Toni (Have you heard? They had problemi muscolare and couldn’t play.), the team is incredibly ambitious and eager and clever — they play like they can do anything and know it, which makes them a real treat to see. Jorgensen and Reginaldo, in particular, are feeling scary-good about themselves right now.

•You know those ancient Roman statues of weirdly pretty, impossibly delicate young men? With the huge, narrow-set eyes, slim bodies and hair that falls in careful ringlets? I always thought they were idealized images of physical qualities the ancients valued. Today I realized they’re signs of time-travel, because they’re all the spitting image of Riccardo Montolivo.

•In the second half, Udinese picked things up and had the better of the possession (though at least some of that was down to Fiorentina’s 2-0, which led them to sit in and counter when the opportunity presented itself). During the last 30 minutes or so, they looked more than good enough to sneak into the Champions League picture.

•It was so quiet in the stadium that I swear to God at one point Montolivo was talking to Mutu and Toni (problemi muscolare) as he ran back up the pitch. Montolivio looked a bit sheepish, while the other two were laughing so hard Toni had to cover his face. Ah, footballers.

•If only it wasn’t for that pesky 15 POINT PENALTY, Fiorentina would be in fourth. I’m just sayin’.