Seriously, People: Stop With the Coke!
By: Martha | June 13th, 2007
Yes, we have another one, friends: A third footballing career in just a few months seemingly ended by Cocaine, AKA the Demon Drug of Calcio.
Coming hot on the heels of Francesco Flachi’s career-ender and the two-year suspension of Nicholas Caglioni, Crotone keeper Angelo Pagotto’s cup of pee tested positive for cocaine after his club’s late-April Serie B loss to Spezia. Because this is the 33-year-old’s second offense (his first one, way back when he didn’t need a walker to get around, resulted in a 24-month suspension which was eventually reduced by four months on appeal), the rules of calcio dictate he could now receive a lifetime ban, a wrinkle which would formally end his career rather than simply keeping him out of the game until he’s too old to ever play again (which it seems will be Flachi’s situation).
This is where my lack of a hard-partying past really hurts me as a calcio blogger, because I have no ability to identify with these fools victims who test positive for cocaine, and end up with multi-year suspensions. To me, they pretty much look like morons, sacrificing a lucrative, dream career for a few hours of awesomeness. However, in order to correct the gaping drug-hole in my resume, I resolve to take a week off later this year and go on a massive binge (assuming Mike or Anthony can hook me up with that Mutu contact information). When I come back, my attitude towards Pagotto, Flachi and Caglioni will be much more informed. This is how much I love my calcio.
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Comments
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I knew Mutu’s pimp, Mike could hook you up with Del Piero.
And I didn’t players in Serie B could afford coke. Whole new marketplace for a certain someone. Primavera’s next.
Posted from
United States
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Sorry, Anthony — it was Mike who had the phone conversation (no, really!) with him, but I forgot about your friendship with the pimp. It’s been fixed.
Posted from
Portugal -
When I first saw your headline I thought you were referring to the comments section, and how you’d like to clean up the act. But then I read your last few lines, and I just want to say that if you need an email-intervention, your audience is here to help ;)
Pimps and Coke; what kinda blog is this?
ps: Sorry, but I can’t share Alex with anyone. You understand.
Posted from
United States -
No problem Martha, I know its hard to remember which shady character does what.
@Mike
When there is a plethora of sports blogs, I want this one to be the most notorious. And if there is one thing I’m good at, (I still have my doubts if I’m good at anything) is making people famous one way or another.
YOU THINK YOU’RE BIG TIME MARTHA?Posted from
United States -
DONE. I will now be taking orders for laced cigs; each includes a disclaimer that reads “my boy Mike hooked me up, so like, you can’t ban me because all this shit is indirect.”
AND from now on, every time I check this site I’m gonna lift the shirt over my head and round around the office.
I’ll only be able to do this twice, and I’ll probably card out by 10am every day (baring any two or three day suspensions, because you know what lame asses FIFA are).
Posted from
United States -
I must admit I was sorry to read about this. Pagotto used to be a rising star and in the Italy Under 21 side (I am so old I remember that). But with all these people sniffing, I wonder, will there be any white lines left around the pitches of Italy in future?
Posted from
United Kingdom -
Anthony, Mike, I like the way you guys think — Deadspin ain’t nothing compared to the drug-fueled, Romanian-inspired chaos that will soon reign here (at least until FIFA makes a rule about smoking laced cigarettes at high altitudes).
Also, I think we need to start selling tshirts that say “my boy Mike hooked me up, so like, you can’t ban me because all this shit is indirect.”
Posted from
Portugal -
Ginkers, thanks for the ID on Pagotto — did the first suspension scuttle his int’l career, or had it already petered out by then? (And you’re thinking about Robbie Fowler right now, aren’t you?)
Posted from
Portugal -
yeah.and also stop with the coke… with coca cola.
Posted from
United States -
@Ginkers
Thanks for the heads up, and nice blog, another favorite.
I’m up for the shirts, though it’s a bit too long, I’d go with ‘I got it from Mike, so fuck off.’
Posted from
United States -
NICE. I always wanted my own tee… Can I have them made in black and white (no collars)?
And that tee gave me an idea for creating a personal blog of the same name, with the sub-heading “Unapologetic Rates and Raves from a real FKN Fan, lovingly sprinkled with a dash of cocaine and a sluice of whores.”
I can write about the current prevailing themes of scandals, drugs, and rock’n'roll – from the city that’s prevalent in all three beautiful things, yet severely lacking of the beautiful game. Oh we few, we happy few.
Posted from
United States -
Anthony — brilliant. Make it so.
Mike — ditto. I’d read that blog just for the tagline. And you could post periodic pics of Dema Kovalenko! (Because, really, who doesn’t want to do that?)
Posted from
Portugal -
Did somebody say cocaine?
Posted from
United States -
Jeez — you too, Bobo? Is no one safe?
Posted from
Portugal
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