Friday News Dump

By: chris | March 7th, 2008

• La Viola took down Prem boys Everton by the score of 2-0 yesterday via Zdravko “I Heart Ana Ivanovic But She Doesn’t Heart Me Back” Kuzmanovic and Riccardo Montolivo in the first leg of their UEFA Cup Matchup. This win is crucial for calcio, because even if Inter pulls off a quasi-miracle against Rafa’s Spanish armada, that leaves only 3 teams left in Europe this year of the final 16 in both competitions. Germany, on the other hand, has five right now. Not good.

Here are the links to Zdravko’s and Riccardo’s goals with picture in picture analysis from Addy Mutu.

• Speaking of Mutu, his reality show will be airing soon a whole three to four times a week. Seriously, does Romania - or anyone for that matter - need that much Mutu? (Of course, now we have the real reason why Martha left.)

• Fabio Cannavaro has been named the boot’s Gay Icon by a panel of 500 people, just beating out Massimo Ambrosini and Daniele De Rossi. I have no idea what credentials one might need (besides being The Fabio) to earn such recognition, but I’m sure the plaque or trophy will look splendid on his mantle right next to those ginormous golden balls of his. (You know, for the World Cup and the Ballon D’Or.) You go, Fabio.

• As Antonio’s World Turns: Antonio Cassano was suspended 5 games for his little tiff on Sunday against Torino, and has been been withheld his pay packet until the suspension is over. Here’s my question: Is it his whole paycheck or just the part Sampdoria is contributing? If it’s the former, that sucks. If it’s the latter, well who the fuck cares? They’re only grabbing 20-25% of the tab anyway. Party in Bari this weekend!

• Speaking of Antonio, The Don Doni has said the door is not closed on his Swissaustrian hopes. Which translates directly to, “Please, for the love of God, somebody get me a strike partner for Luca Toni.”

• Breaking news: Maurizio Zamparini has put a 25m pricetag on Amauri for the 7,812th time in the last 6 months. Which makes one wonder……how low are these offers? It’s never going up, so clearly nobody’s coming close (which Zampa has also said). Chelsea’s supposedly in on him, but that’s coming from his agent, who is about thisclose to saying the Chicago Cubs are looking for Amauri to play centerfield. He’ll go to Bolton for 5m and a half eaten package of Junior Mints in the summer.

• And this week’s dose of Zampa on the lazy Susan that is Palermo’s gaffer (Francesco Guidolin for the moment): “There is a 60 per cent chance that he will stay here into next season.” That’s gotta be the best job security he’s given in his reign, right? That’s as close to Sicilian tenure as you’re going to get. And it only took 3 times around.

• Milan are supposedly targeting Sebastian Frey (no way!) and Hugo Lloris of Nice for next year because Zjelko Kalac just ain’t going to cut it (and neither is Dida.) Frey we already know about, but Lloris is a 21 year old Phrench phenom who has told his club he wants out in the summer. He’s got a couple highlight videos on YouTube, but the clear winner is the spot of he and Ederson lying shirtless (and who knows what else is missing) under the covers in bed watching Shrek. So that’s nice.

• Juventus would like Citeh’s Micah Richards. They have watched English transfer fees over the last few years, right? Like Darren Bent going for the equivalent of the down payment on a small country? I thought England was the last place you want to look for talent. (Coughmomosissokocough.)

• Rosella Sensi says that “Alberto Aquilani will never go away“. Well that ends that (ahem, Moratti).

* - These, and all posts, will become much more regular now that internet service is tolerable.