

Hide the Children, There’s an Ugly Basement Battle on the Way
By: Martha | February 28th, 2007
Ascoli and Parma, AKA the two worst teams in Serie A, meet today at Ascoli in a desperate battle for three points. Though the game is likely to be grim and ugly, I almost wish it was on TV — you know it’s going to be full of passion, if nothing else. With his endless war metaphors — he’s already called their opponents “a small but united army” — Claudio Ranieri will surely have Parma in a wild frenzy, while Ascoli will be playing in front of their season ticket holders for the first time since the stadium closures and are beyond desperate for a good result.
The problem for Ascoli is that they’ve got several starters suspended due to accumulated yellow cards, which will do them no favors. In good news, however, their leading scorer Sasa Bjelanovic, originally thought to have torn a knee ligament in Sunday’s game, has made a miraculous recovery and seems to be fit for the match. Which is nice to hear — they deserve some good luck, every once in a while. Parma, meanwhile, in addition to being fired up by their fearless leader, must be feeling a bit of confidence for once, having scored three goals on Sunday in a fantastic battle with Udine, a team well above them in the table.
Since both teams really need the full three points, this will probably be a fantastic game, full of blood, guts, lots of yelling, and possibly little bits of skill. And we can’t watch it, dammit. Anyone know of an illegal a way to see it over the web? On a Mac?
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