In Which Entirely Too Many Words Are Devoted to Adrian Mutu

By: Martha | November 6th, 2006

Mmm...Mutu Watching the Roma-Fiorentina game yesterday — particularly the uninspired first half — I had a lot of time to think. And, apart from the obvious (Things like “How is Totti so pretty?”, and “When Roma are playing well, they make you forget how boring they are when they’re not.”, and “Why do I hate Christian Panucci so much? I thought it was just that stupid haircut, but it’s gone and I still hate him. Am I bad person?”), most my brain power was expended considering Adrian Mutu. It’s pretty much indesputable that he’s mind-blowingly talented, right? And he’s had a few very impressive years in his career, has been the best Romian player on earth for a long time, and exhibits little flashes of skill that make your mouth hang open. So why isn’t he a superstar of world football? What the hell happened?

Would things have been different if he hadn’t gone to Chelsea? Maybe (especially if they don’t have coke in Parma). Of if he’d hung on at Chelsea, and either not gotten high or received the Maradona treatment, and turned in the physio’s pee for testing instead of his? Again, maybe — though it’s unlikely his inability to get along with Mourinho had much to do with drugs. And, based on available evidence, one wonders if he could have handled the pressure in London. Really, the Roma game was sort of a microcosm of Mutu’s recent career (I told you I expended a lot of brain power on this):

The absence of Toni gave him a chance to be the focus of the attack, and he was clearly eager to seize the opportunity. He started brightly, as the Brits say, running all over the pitch, eager as hell, and creating chances for himself and others. He looked like a little kid out there, the smart 12-year-old who’s more skilled than the rest of his team and works to make them all better, rather than trying to win by himself. It was awesome. But after about 30 minutes, he had essentially vanished. And, by the end? There was a great shot on GolTV of Mutu literally standing by the touchline, watching the game happen in front of him. He didn’t move, either to make a run or go win the ball — just couldn’t be bothered.

So, to recap:

1)Mutu gets the chance to be the focus of the attack and get all the praise and attention;
2)Mutu is a genius for 30 minutes;
3)Roma doesn’t quit when the go behind;
4)Mutu says (translated from the Romanian) “Mommy this is hard!”;
5)Mutu checks out;
6)Mutu (hopefully) get a post-game ass-kicking from Montolivo, another brilliantly skilled player who — check this out — actually spent the game trying to find a way to win.

So, yeah — you start to see why he never stays at a club for more than a year or two. People sign him to long contracts assuming he’s finally grown up and then, like freaking clockwork, he proves them wrong. Hey, Adrian, dude — life is hard. You’re 27 years old. If you don’t want to end your career as one of those to-be-pitied guys who totally fail to live up to their talent, SUCK IT UP.

That said, even when he’s pouting, the man does rival even Totti in the looks department. So, you know, there is that.