Weekend In Review: Champions League Spots

By: chris | March 16th, 2008

Inter 2 - Palermo 1: Strolled in just before half time and wondered how the hell Palermo got a goal. Watched the second half and wondered how the hell Inter didn’t get 7. I mean, even the ancient Figo was (yes, he decided to come off the bench this time - atta go princess) beating dudes with ease. Of course, as is the case with every time Inter picks up a ball these days, it wasn’t without controversy as Italian media lipreaders (stop laughing) caught Zlatan saying not nice things about Mancini. Inter’s denying. Ooh. Ah.

(They may be denying and saying all is butterflies and cupcakes and roses, but I don’t think a single soul is believing this “all is lovely” crap for a second.)

* - Also, The Matrix probably has a really big fucking headache right now. Somebody get him some Advil.

Roma 2 - Milan 1: Roma played Milan off the pitch for the first half, exhibiting all those beautiful characteristics they’re synonymous with. Then Milan played Roma off the pitch to begin the second half, putting on the passing clinics they’re known for. Kaka bagged the first goal for Milan, but Luciano Spalletti brought Ludovic Giuly and Mirko Vucinic off the bench at just the right time, and they scored 2 goals in 3 minutes to send the tifosi into complete pandemonium. Made all the sweeter by the fact that both goals came after that fucking traitor Emerson came onto the pitch. (No, we’re not bitter you fucking scumbag.)

Juventus 1 - Napoli 0: You had to know it was coming: the late goal from Juventus - provided by SuperSub Vincenzo Iaquinta - to take a deserved 3 points at home against Napoli. Of course, had Napoli taken a point they would’ve completely deserved that too, just based on the sheer amount of pressure they withstood for 88 minutes. And Momo Sissoko is at least 37% machine.

Also, Fabiano Santacroce is by far the best young defender I’ve seen in Serie A this year. He’s raw and still has to refine some of the subtleties of top notch footy, but shit is he going to be a monster in years to come.

Also also, Robert Sosa’s coonskin cap that he calls hair really needs to go. That thing is gross.

Fiorentina 3 - Genoa 1: And la Viola took full advantage of Milan’s dropped points, adding three more points to bring the gap to four, and make life in the UEFA Cup a very real possibility for the Rossoneri. Daddy Mutu marked his return from injury with a goal and looks to be picking up where he left off. Bad news, however, was that Prands had to use two first half subs on injuries for Santana, who scored the first goal, and Gamberini, who likes to get hosed down by men while having a slight erection. Long term status unclear as of this very moment.

Standings

1. Inter 67
2. Roma 61
3. Juventus 54
4. Fiorentina 50
5. Milan 46