Kaka Talks Frankly About His Sex Life; Makes the Masses Very UncomfortableBy: Martha | June 5th, 2007
You know, I can totally respect that Ricky Kaka belongs to Jesus (though the media’s obsession with photos of him talking to The Man Upstairs does sort of creep me out). And I can respect the fact that he and his wife were virgins when they married, because the Bible told them to wait. I also really appreciate his intelligence, honestly and borderline-freakish serenity — all three are impressive in anyone, let alone a kid of 25. But, Ricky? Next time someone asks you about your wedding night, can you please just tell them it’s private, and leave it at that? I don’t care how saintly or pretty you are, man, no one needs to read about blood exchange (I’m praying that’s not what it sounds like), and how that first night with your wife was “the … beautifulst.” Don’t get me wrong — it’s totally sweet and everything, but there is such thing as too much information. And that, Ricky? That’s it. Waaaay too much. I swear we really don’t care. Or want to know.
For those of you who haven’t run off to scrub your brain at being forced to read about such things (sorry), in an interview with the Italian Vanity Fair, Kaka also shares the key to the success of his marriage: Reading, and never going to clubs in Milan without his wife. Got that, young lovers? Always have a book with you, and members of the opposite sex will know you take your vows seriously.
If that’s too pure and goody-goody for you, there at least is this: At some point in the days after the wedding, Silvio Berlusconi leered at Mrs. Kaka and announced it was too bad she was already married. (Silvio! You old dog, you!) Even now Ricky seems less than amused by the story, though he at least can acknowledged that the Lord of Milan “corrected himself” shortly thereafter. (Clearly he saw Caroline’s book and realized the mistake he had made.)