Lazio, Palermo Presidents Going Gloriously Mad

By: Martha | January 19th, 2007

Crazyass Zamparini Imagine how much more fun the Premiership would be if Roman Abromovich ranted against the government rather than smiling inscrutably in his luxury box. Or if Freddy Shepherd yelled obscenities at the people calling him Fat Freddy, instead of just shaking his head and acting like he feels so sorry for them in their ignorance.

Lucky for us, there’s no shortage of crazy in Serie A, and a whole lot of it has been dolled out to the owners and presidents of the clubs (and, of course, to Paolo Di Canio). Take, for instance, Lazio president Claudio Lotito. Just a few days after asking the press if Massimo Oddo was about to play his last game for Lazio because he was dying (as opposed to packing his bags for Milan), Herr Lotito has angrily announced that he is “the only reliable source when you speak about Lazio, any other person knows nothing.” The gaffer? Knows nothing! Oh and, Oddo? So not for sale! Fools. (And, yes, from now on I’ll be dropping him emails before reporting anything about the club. Just so you know.)

Down in Sicily, meanwhile, Palermo kingpin Maurizio Zamparini is essentially trying to blackmail the legal system into releasing him from an investigation by threatening to quit the club — a tactic impressive for its nerve, if nothing else. After being “included in a list of people accused of alleged tax wrongdoing,” Zamparini went all righteously indignant, saying “I am going to have to stop working in this country as we are not being protected. And Palermo is one of my businesses …” [Insert dramatic pause here.] Never fear, though: He’s only going to leave when he finds a job that suits his high class and debonair bearing. In other words, authorities, you’ve got some time to get it sorted. If you get it wrong, though, he’s gone, and he’s taking his money with him — you’ll be looking at Parma in pink in a few years if you screw this up!

Love. It.