Disappointing Odds and Ends as Our Prayers for Sex Scandals Go Unheeded

By: Martha | July 8th, 2007

Nico! Yet another weekend passes with nothing remotely scandalous or shocking happening in Serie A. Where is Bobo Vieri when we need him? Actually, where IS Bobo? Where is he playing next year? Or, if we can’t get an answer to that, who is he sleeping with? And are Inter still spying on him? We need answers, and the sooner the better!

In much more boring but also probably slightly more relevant news:

•Alert! Alert! Zinedine Zidane wants everyone to know the Azzurri deserved to win the World Cup. Well. I don’t know about you, but I feel much better now.

•Contrary to popular rumor, Emerson is apparently not returning to Italy this summer after all. His agent recently had a very pleasant coffee with Real sporting director Predrag Mijatovic (name dropper), and the two men felt no need to discuss the Brazilian’s future. He’s contract to club through 2009, and is going nowhere.

•Fabio Grosso passed his medical, scored a four year, ludicrously large contract, and will be introduced on Monday as a Lyon player. (Until then, his Wikipedia page is locked. Just so you know.) It’s thought he cost the French club about €7 million, and will earn a completely outrageous €2 million/season. Well, that was easy. You watching this, Cristian Chivu?

•Also on Monday, Milan’s resident waste of space, Ricardo Oliveira, will reportedly make things official with Real Zaragoza, but only in terms of a one-year loan. Rumors indicate Milan will get £1.4 million right now, and if the striker returns to form in Spain and Zaragoza want to make the deal permanent, they’ll have to turn over an additional £7.1 million, an amount which would bring the total to barely half of what Oliveira cost the Rossoneri just a year ago.

•Everyone wants Francesco Toldo as their backup keeper. Everyone in Spain, anyway.

•According to Nicolas Burdisso’s agent, Juve are interested in his client. (Cue Juve denial now.) The defender’s contract with Inter runs through 2009, and the club have offered an extension already, but it’s without the raise Burdisso wants; not surprisingly, his agent is responding to the slight by going to the press and talking about any club whose name pops into his head.

•Gianluca Pagliuca has told Il Romanista that he’d love to spend next year with Roma (In large part because his son is a big Totti fan — isn’t that sweet?) — you know, assuming they want a 40-year-old keeper and everything. As thrilling as this story is, though, the real reason I’m sharing it with you because “Pagliuca” translates as “Dust particle,” a glorious accident of Google translate which results in sentences like “Dust particle would not have doubts.”

•The Daily Show airs on CNN International. Does Rupert Murdoch know?

•As teams make plans for their summer training tours, we find out how they really feel about certain players. Inter, for example, are at least pretending they’re keeping Adriano around because, despite previous concrete plans to the contrary, the striker will be with the team when they open camp in Sardinia tomorrow. Lazio, meanwhile, are unofficially cutting ties with Luis Jimenez, who has been acting weird all summer and essentially forced his own departure from the club: He won’t be on the plane when the team leave for Austria tomorrow and will probably spend next season on loan somewhere.