Milan Striker Fails Drugs Test; Blames Slutty GirlfriendBy: Martha | January 17th, 2007
Little-used Milan striker Marco Borriello faces a lengthy ban after testing positive for illegal substances (again) yesterday. His first positive test occurred immediately after the club’s November 11 loss to Roma, and he was provisionally suspended pending testing of his B sample — that’s the one which just turned up positive. The club is sure, however, that things will be cleared up right quick, and that Borriello will be back in the side in no time.
What’s their secret? Well, according to Borriello’s girlfriend Belen Rodriguez (Why yes, she is a model. Did you even have to ask?), the problem stems not from doping but from sex: She sort of accidentally gave him an STD, and the cream he was directed to rub on his manly bits to make it go away (Read: Kill the crabs.) contained cortisone, which is on the list of banned substances. Oops. On, like, six different levels.
Man, this is even better than Mrs. Oddo’s fevered reproductive organs keeping her husband in Milan! Borriello is probably glad he’s suspended, because training after that little revelation would be a treat and a half.
[Thanks to Ashley for the link to the Sun story.]