Milan Totally Almost Signed Henry. Take That, Haters!
By: Martha | August 28th, 2007
Milan may have done fuck all this summer (apart from signing an infant Brazilian who may or may not be the Second Coming), but they weren’t just sitting around, twiddling their thumbs. No, sir! Instead, they were busy doing really exciting things like almost signing Thierry Henry, and dreaming about Adriano. So there.
According to the always-chatty Adriano Galliani, Milan were fully prepared to match the fee Barcelona paid for Henry and, in case you were wondering, “Henry would have happily come [to Milan].” Happily, that is, until Barca offered him a 50% increase on his wages, which pretty much ended any interest the Frenchman might have had in moving to Italy.
Undeterred by that little setback, however, Milan next trained their sights on Adriano. Either not satisfied with their primary useless striker (Yes, Gila, I’m talking about you.), blinded by their desperate love for all things Brazilian, or disheartened than their resident fatty has slimmed down so impressively, Galliani and co were (and are) totally smitten by the big fella. Sadly, however, they’re being denied. Not, mind you, by an unwillingness to pay the loony fee Inter have slapped on Adriano’s head, but rather the tragic tension between the two teams. Such is the rivalry that, according to Galliani, “nowadays a great champion can’t move between Milan and Inter.” (Notice the use of the phrase “great champion.” That’s blind love right there.)
So there you go, Milan fans. If things ever go wrong for you this season, just think: At least Adriano’s wide ass isn’t sitting in the stand, glaring down at Thierry Henry.
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Comments
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That should not have made me laugh as much as it did. Your best mode is definitely biting sarcasm, lady.
Posted from
United States
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sky sports is scrolling that west ham want adriano on loan now. hilarious.
Posted from
United States -
Martha you have done me a great favor by posting this. I sat here bitterly all morning pondering if I should rip the Milan Brass a new asshole, or just let this one slip by into oblivion. It reminds of Xmas when you really wanted a new toy and your Mom says they were all out but we tried anyway…BS. Close only counts in horsehoes…instead I have to root for a pizza faced Brazilian who needs proactiv and a driver’s license, instead of WC and Euro Cup champ TH14.
Posted from
United States -
Doesn’t it sometimes sound like Galliani is a hyptonized puppet in favor of all things Brazilian…is his wife Brazilian?
Posted from
United States -
Thank you, roswitha. You know it’s the Adriano love that really gets me worked up (so to speak), not hatred for Milan, persay. Really.
Matt, not only West Ham, but also Boro and (of course) Man City. It’s madness.
Glad I could help, Gianfranco. What on earth were they thinking, crowing about something like that? It’s just bizarre (not surprising, maybe, but certainly bizarre).
Dunno about Galliani’s wife, but that would explain a lot — as would a discovery that Massimo Moratti’s wife is an Argie.
Posted from
United States -
dodged a bullet on adriano…
and damn that spanish fiscal system in spain… so i guess henry was the champion ancelotti was talking about in the beginning of summer, the name that would form chaos…ps. gianfranco, you are going to eventually have to get behind pato to do well at milan… for the good of the team, since we paid like 20 million for him..
Posted from
United States -
At least Adriano’s wide ass isn’t sitting in the stand, glaring down at Thierry Henry.
Somehow that’s pretty cold comfort Martha.
How many days are there left in the the transfer season? We could pray for a miracle…or lagomorphs spontaniously emerging from hats…or for Gila to finally make himself useful.
Posted from
United States -
Ady, you know I’m not good at comforting Milan fans. You’ve got three days left to find a striker, and Inter have the same amount of time to find an attacking mid. Sigh. I have a feeling disappointment is ahead.
Posted from
United States -
nothing much to do with this except they are both french but anyway. trezeguet had a heart to heart with the press it seems. he was talking about how domenech made him play for the France B team and how hard that was for him. he talks about how no one understands how it feels…
http://www.goal.com/en/Articolo.aspx?ContenutoId=395837Posted from
Canada -
Indeed, you’re not good at comforting Milan fans!
Perhaps I’ll just pray for the much hated Pippo, flush with CL success, to have one last spectacular season.
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United States -
well martha, dont worry… we have the champions league trophy to comfort us..
Posted from
United States -
Aww. Somehow I’m not feeling the love, what with Milan’s obsessive stalking of Ronaldinho and Samuel Eto’o. I guess they ‘almost signed’ those two as well?
(That picture is so disturbing. I can’t stop staring at it.)
Posted from
Australia -
Oh, that’s cold, k.
Isn’t it, Linda? Creepy as hell.
Posted from
United States -
I’ve noticed that Titi (Henry) ends up in a lot of oddly semi-homoerotic photos like this. (And maybe any gay readers can tell me: does the modifier “semi-” belong in that last sentence?)
http://france.worldcupblog.org/player-news/want-a-titi-hug.htmlPosted from
United States
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