Murky Charge Could Bar Kahn, Lucio from Milan Match

According to the UEFA website, Bayern keeper Oliver Kahn and defender Lucio have been charged with improper conduct and will have a disciplinary committee hearing on March 22 to decide on their punishments (if there is one). What’s odd about this is that it’s not for something that happened on the pitch. Instead, it has something to do with how they behaved at the post-match drug-testing fiesta in which players are expected to participate. As far as I can tell, it’s not that the pair tested positive for anything, but rather that they did something vaguely bad — or, if you prefer, “breached basic rules of good conduct” — during the testing.

This is weird, right? What did they do, run around giggling, knocking over cups of pee? Talked incessantly to teammates with shy bladders, thus prolonging the ordeal unnecessarily? Or does “breached basic rules of good conduct” just mean that they failed to turn up, or refused to participate? If it’s the latter, that’s sorta pathetic. If you skip a drug test, do you think people will just not notice? Not bloody likely, especially when you’re a enormous German man who’s a dead ringer for He-Man. And, we know from events in England that “forgetting” probably won’t fly as an explanation.

I suppose the answers are going to have to wait (unless any of you has an in with UEFA’s pee-collectors): We’ll find out next week what the punishments are — any suspensions will obviously keep Kahn and Lucio out of at least one Milan match — and, hopefully, what the hell the evil duo did to deserve them.

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Category: AC Milan, Champions League, Rumors & News, Serie A