Murky Charge Could Bar Kahn, Lucio from Milan Match

By: Martha | March 17th, 2007

According to the UEFA website, Bayern keeper Oliver Kahn and defender Lucio have been charged with improper conduct and will have a disciplinary committee hearing on March 22 to decide on their punishments (if there is one). What’s odd about this is that it’s not for something that happened on the pitch. Instead, it has something to do with how they behaved at the post-match drug-testing fiesta in which players are expected to participate. As far as I can tell, it’s not that the pair tested positive for anything, but rather that they did something vaguely bad — or, if you prefer, “breached basic rules of good conduct” — during the testing.

This is weird, right? What did they do, run around giggling, knocking over cups of pee? Talked incessantly to teammates with shy bladders, thus prolonging the ordeal unnecessarily? Or does “breached basic rules of good conduct” just mean that they failed to turn up, or refused to participate? If it’s the latter, that’s sorta pathetic. If you skip a drug test, do you think people will just not notice? Not bloody likely, especially when you’re a enormous German man who’s a dead ringer for He-Man. And, we know from events in England that “forgetting” probably won’t fly as an explanation.

I suppose the answers are going to have to wait (unless any of you has an in with UEFA’s pee-collectors): We’ll find out next week what the punishments are — any suspensions will obviously keep Kahn and Lucio out of at least one Milan match — and, hopefully, what the hell the evil duo did to deserve them.

Category: AC Milan, Champions League, Rumors & News, Serie A

Tags: AC Milan, Champions League, Lucio, Oliver Khan, Rumors -amp; News, Serie A, UEFA

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Comments  

• Marcello |  March 17th, 2007 at 7:38 am

  
  
  

  lol, that second paragraph killed me!

  Posted from United States

  

• Bob |  March 17th, 2007 at 7:42 am

  
  
  

  There has to be a good story behind this. After all, if it were merely a case of Kahn “breaching basic rules of good conduct” his scary mug would never have been allowed on a pitch to begin with.

  Posted from Brazil

  

• Laurie |  March 17th, 2007 at 9:30 am

  
  
  

  You have NO idea how much that He-man picture has made me giggle. Seriously, I’m just sitting here in hysterics. (Okay, it’s been a very long week. But still.)

  Has anybody ever mentioned using Oliver Kahn as a model for the action figure? I’m serious. It can’t be coincidental.

  Posted from United States

  

• ana |  March 17th, 2007 at 9:52 am

  
  
  

  He looks like an action figure from the tv show Kablam that showed on Nick years ago! Hahaha!

  Posted from United States

  

• Louise |  March 17th, 2007 at 10:11 am

  
  
  

  Maybe they were trying to use Wizzinators?

  Posted from Brazil

  

• Martha |  March 17th, 2007 at 3:03 pm

  
  
  

  Louise, Brilliant! The Wizzinator! God I hope that’s it.

  I wish I could take credit for the action figure, but I just stole the pic from someone on the internets. (Shhh.)

  Posted from United States

  

• Lisa |  March 17th, 2007 at 3:52 pm

  
  
  

  Now that you said it, the He-Man resemblance is so obvious. I can’t believe I never noticed this before.

  Posted from United Kingdom

  

Comments are closed