Oh, Snap: Berlusconi in Sheva Smackdown Shock!
By: Martha | December 15th, 2006
Ah, old love. Why, just a few weeks ago, Silvio Berlsuconi was waxing nostalgic about the good times he’d shared with Andriy Shevchenko, and publicly fantasizing about what life would be like if only they could be together again. Plans were being made for them to be reunited in the new year, and much time was spent by many in idle daydreams about Sheva in red and black, scoring goals at will while Silvio watched his beloved from the luxury boxes, a broad grin beneath his hairplugs.
Quickly, though, things began to go wrong — other voices intervened, and society’s rules crashed down, trying to keep them apart. And then, out of the public eye, something terrible happened and, it appears, an insurmountable wall has risen between the two former soulmates. In this case, that wall is named Kristen Pazik. Yes, friends, it’s true: Sheva wife is the root of all of these problems. We know this now because Silvio has finally gone to the press with his disgust and disappoinment: “Shevchenko is his wife’s puppy. A real Milanista and a real man would have never behaved this way. In my home I am the one who takes decisions and rules. But when Sheva’s wife calls him and sends him under the bed, he obeys just like a puppy.”
OUCH. I think it’s safe to say their relationship is over. It’s best that we all move on, despite our pain.
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Comments
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Wow, patriarchy is hilarious sometimes. Too bad Sheva’s not the sort of man who’d consider the demented ravings of a stuffy old coot a compliment (sadly, who in football would?). Although the ‘puppy’ thing is kind of evident every time Jose pulls him off the field.
I can’t wait to see what Silvio calls Kaka if/when he leaves. Will we be having kittens, one wonders.
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