Serie A’s Ugliest Footballers

Whoa whoa, Storari? Jovetic? Montolivo? Maggio? Liverani? Kuzmanovic?

Does that make Viola, the ugly club to play(ed) for? haha

I actually don't understand how some of these players got onto your list. Gattuso is the hottest thing since ice-cream, he's rugged look makes him incredibly sexy and attractive, and I'd hardly call Ibra or Christian Maggio ugly. I don't think anyone is really ugly, Ronaldinho may be ugly (so to speak), but he has an incredible smile and an infectuous personality that makes him attractive. But what do I know, I'm just a woman!!!

Add Kuzmanovic to the list

Okaka Chuka by far...and Marco Storari reminds me of Bugs Bunny

Liverani!

definitely exhibit B Lorenzo!

France' - would you prefer exhibit A: http://www.daylife.com/photo/0...

or exhibit B:
http://www.daylife.com/photo/0...

So, then, Johonna based on YOUR criteria, Zlatan is the ugliest mofo on the planet...second only to C-F*g (C. Ronaldo)....riiiight?? :)

I, personally, am incapable of separating out elements of the looks package.
Materazzi is ugly, and has facial intrigue of a lost donkey.
Gatusso's face is not bad, but just feel like he has something of the unhygenic look about him. No, I have not been close enough to him to really be an authority-- but just instinct. (Maybe coz beards wierd me out)

Amen, brief.

Pauly, I think you will find that for many women, attractiveness is a full-package sort of deal. I know that for me, a person can be very physically pretty (or handsome) but, if they are a dick, they are ugly. Period.

What is ugly is entirely subjective, both as it applies to people and how it is applied.

For me, "Ugly footballer" is not only what they physically look like, but what I perceive their personality to be (how they play, what they say, etc).

Your criteria may be entirely different.

oh and regarding Stefano Okaka Chuka, some Roma fan has to get us a recent picture of him with that 1980's flat-top haircut. makes him even more hideous

Immediately put Muntari up there please!

http://worldcup.itv.com/Images...

And how could you think Jovetic is ugly? I ain't into dudes, but he's not ugly. He kinda looks like he's out of Menudo.

Morimoto looks like he's down syndrome!

By the way, who is that in the main pic? Looks familiar but I can't put a name to the...ummm...I wanna say...face?

Asem - Huh. I find Materazzi very very attractive. He's just a different brand of good-looking, like Gattuso.

Hey girls, maybe I'm wrong but this isn't a "hottest Footballer" contest right? When it comes to Zlatlan, the girls count the height, the abs, the bad boy personality, etc., etc.

The title of this contest is "....ugliest footballers" which should pertain to these players facial features, or am I wrong?

If you take away their bodily features, and re-critique these boys on their facial features, and their ugliness, where would you rate Zlatlan?

mimo - then that would go to Juric.

I wonder what the polls would look like if we were voting for most unhygenic-looking footballers. you know, the ones who look like they need to get re-introduced to the shower, bath salts, and maybe deodorants...

I don't consider Simone Loria a football player, so I didn't include him in my thought process.

Rodrigo Taddei = Willem Defoe by far.

http://www.mannythemovieguy.co...

lol - my apologies ricci. just statin' the facts dude.

ben - miccoli's not ugly...his style is just..."unique". those eyebrows have been known to kill brave men. as for Moris, well, he could play a Geico Caveman quite nicely - or as "Braveheart" as he was recently dubbed by the Palermo media.

Lorenzo, I had oral surgery today and I knew clicking on that Ichabod Crane link was bad. Spit blood everywhere in laughter. Quality humor.

evaldo, Maggio isn't as ugly as some of the other contenders, but he has an enormous chin. I'm pretty sure it has it's own zip code.

*sighs* Oh Lorenzo, we are never going to get along.

Bonnie -- I adore Rino, don't get me wrong, but more for his attitude than his looks. I like a beard on a man but I'd never call him beautiful.

Oh and please add Zlatan Ibrahimovich, Fabrizio Miccoli, Simone Tiribocchi, Moris Carrozzieri, and Simone Loria.

MORIMOTO??????? The guy is a greek statue!!!! haha he is an ugly SOB.

Really?! Am I the only one who finds Gattuso super attractive? He was my first Azzurri crush, I think he's beautiful.

Angharad - you brought up an excellent point. How could we forget about Riccardo Montolivo? That kid is flat out uggums.

http://www.calciofiorentina.it...

He is the real life version of Disney's Ichabod Crane character:

http://www.freewebs.com/happy_...

I don't know, Johonna, I agree that Aquilani's eyes are a bit too close together, but I'd still say he's prettier than Gattuso or Ambrosini. But then again, my biggest Serie A crush (outside of Paolo Maldini, who is without flaw) is Riccardo Montolivo, and he has no chin, so maybe I'm just not terribly picky.

Lorenzo -- I don't think any of us would want to live with Ibra, because the arrogance would pall very quickly, but for a brief roll in the hay, a little d-baggery is quite arousing. (Only a little, mind. Cassano, for example, would not be attractive even if he had Paolo Maldini looks.)

Lorenzo, no they weren't. At least I can vouch for about 100 women.
The d-baggery has to accompanied with some other sublime factor. Unlike the Simon Cowell type.

Bonnie - he's got more than just a "little d-baggery" haha. And if that's the case, then why weren't women drooling over Lee Hotti. Please tell me they weren't, right?

Hamsik is one of the weirdest looking men I've seen. Something is seriously wrong with that face that it's almost inhuman. It's like Mr. Grasshead meats the Zuni hunting fetish doll.

See, Aquilanis too-close-together eyes is what makes him amazing looking. But I also love Chiellini. So maybe I just have a thing for the Ape-thing...

Lorenzo, you gotta understand, to women, a little d-baggery is quite alright, especially when it's backed up by a body like Zlatans.

Is it just me or does Taddei look a bit like Eric Stoltz in "Mask"?

i didnt think maggio was that bad. maybe it was just the pic?

Johonna, No Homo but Aqui is one of the most beautiful men I have ever laid eyes upon.

BTW Materazzi should def be on the list. And Quaresma b/c he looks like sucha fag.

Yeah, Aquilani definitely has an "ape" quality about him with those eyes.

I think Fabio Caserta's balding mullet is second only to Baiocco's of Catania. Except the nickname us Palermo tifosi had for Caserta was "bikerman" whereas Baiocco's should be something leprechaun related.

Oh, and Angharad, no, I dont think Aquilani is particularly ugly but his eyes are too close together. I was just pointing out that if Gattuso and Hamisik were considered ugly (which they aren't particularly) then Aquilani and Ambrosini would be to (although they aren't particularly).

My (female) votes:
(1) Fugly 1: Taddei
(2) Fugly 2: Caserta
(3) Fugly 3: Chiellini.

Ibra's bod saves the day for him. If it was say, Ibra's face on Tomasso Rocchi's (or Miccoli's) bod-- eeww.
Taddei's face has to be the longest non-equestrian face I have ever seen. Cheillini has a lumbering ape thingy going on. But if I had to vote for pure evil/meanness in someone's facial expressions- Nedved, no doubt.

If it was a Fugly contest for all of Europe: Rooney.

I wont call him ugly, but Cron's over usage of gel and waxing makes him very asexual.

I think it is funny that the women all think Zlatan is good looking. Only the men seem to think he isnt.

If we opened this up to all of Europe this competition would last all year haha.

Also, he won't count towards this competition because he's currently playing in Serie C, but he used to be in Serie A with Messina, Mirko Conte, pretty ugly:

http://www.storiainter.com/Not...

http://cache.gettyimages.com/x...

http://old.arezzonotizie.it/im...

http://digilander.libero.it/vs...

Bonnie - don't mistake "cool" for "d-baggery". There's a big difference. :)

Bashar - see, the problem is that if you open this thing up to Europe, pretty much every englishman under the sun would be at the top of this list. I mean, seriously... Rooney looks like a fat peasant. The English certainly aren't known for their good looks. hehe

It's gotta be a Taddei - Ronaldinho final.. Speaking of which.. Riise might be a good shout for this list.

I wish this was all of Europe so we can add Ribery, Schweinsteiger, Rooney, etc...

Zlatan definitely deserves to be on there.. No doubt.. Jeremy Menez also.

I wouldn't have Chiellini or Iaquinta.. Roma's Doni might stake a claim for this list..

Rubinho telling Criscito to cover the near post
http://www.cartoondollemporium...

Muntari just hanging out, Cali style http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dyn...

Caserta going through pre game warm ups
http://wirelessdigest.typepad....

Zlatan is certainly not ugly, and I dont think Gattuso, Iaquinta, and Maggio are either.

Yeah, as Lorenzo said, this is only a preliminary round, so its ok to include borderline ugly/non-ugly people. Tomorrow a poll will be up to vote for the 10 ugliest players and those players will advance to the final round.

I'd love to hit that...big, ugly, fuckin' Zingaro nose of his. With a bat. A rusty one. With nails on it. Rusty ones. Drenched in bleach.

Lorenzo, the only reason no girl would be hitting on Zlatan is because he's too damn cool. No one would have the guts to approach him, but I guarantee you 90% of us would be watching him and fantasizing about hitting that.

Well, we have to remember, this is just the preliminary round. We separate the ugliest of the uglies from the marginal ones.

So far, I think that Mascara, Taddei, Juric, Cavani, Baiocco, Rubinho and Muntari all deserve to go through to the next round. That's just my opinion though.

And I'm still not seeing the whole Ibra thing. Put that guy in any bar/pub/club anywhere without the whole knowledge of who he is and I doubt any girl would hit on him.

Thinking Zlatan is attractive isn't so much about his face, it's about his amazing upper body, his bad-boy attitude, and his "fuck you" grin. I refer you to the link Johonna posted. And if thinking a footballer was attractive was about his money and fame, then us women wouldn't think any footballer was ugly, would we?

I'm having difficulty deciding between Emerson (although, like Bonnie, I may be biased because I hate the man), Taddei, and Cassano, who compounds the problem by being a right bastard.

Johonna -- do you really think Aquilani isn't good looking? I don't like him much, but I do think he's rather pretty. And I sixth the comments about Gattuso. Not beautiful, certainly, but definitely not ugly.

taddei he ugly

Mascara, without a doubt the winner. 2 goes to Baiocco, 3 to Loria.

I, er, fifth the comments about Gattuso. And why wasn't I aware of HABs Offside? Really, I need to get around this site more often.

Actually Gattuso, Iaquinta and Ibrakadabra are rather good-looking. About Chiellini, he definitely doesn't belong to the ugliest.
Anyway, a big nose doesn't equal ugly. Big noses can be hot.

wat about kuzmanovic, we is freakin ugly, as is pandev....is de rossi ugly or just plain scary?

A little response to Francesco's picture:
http://habs.theoffside.com/gra...

I also agree with the Gattuso and Hamsik comment above. I dont think either one of them is bad looking. Certainly, if you include then you must include Aquilani and Ambrosini. But really, neither one of them are ugly, per say, just not good-looking.

btw Pauly, I am not lying.

How can you people POSSIBLY forget Zebina?? no need for him to put on a halloweens costume!!

Cassano has that coffee cake face thing going. That is very ugly.

I wouldn't rate Chiellini in this group of players...he's no Nedved but he's not on Mascara or Rubinho's level.

But nevermind Chiellini's snot, Zlatan's is even worse. No doubt that bastardo, crossbread, dreadful looking animal takes wins this contest :D

Btw girls, quit lying!

Com'on, how can you guys forget about Chiellini from juventus? That snot alone would take the cake....I'm assuming alessio had something to do this that dismissal!

Zlatan is a stone cold fox. 6'3" of pure sex in cleats. It isn't even about the money or the skills (well, a little about the skills), but mostly it is about the arrogance, crazy hot body, and that smidgen of bad boy from the streets. You wouldn't want to marry the type, but they are sexy as all get out. And the nose just makes it interesting - sort of like Sandra Bernhardt.

The nose is the difference between true sex appeal and plastic teen-beat good looks like CRon. Ibra wins every day.

The next time an "interesting face" gets some dude laid, please let me know. Pretty sure the Elephant Man had an interesting face but I doubt he ever was getting his freak on with many, many adoring women. ;)

Uh, I'm with Jennifer on this one, Zlatan is lively to look at. Nothing to do with the money or the fame, I love an interesting face.

Actually, I would take Gattuso and Hamsik off the list as well. But my vote for ugliest goes to Emerson... he makes me sick to look at - though it may also be that I hate the man.

Jennifer - take away his fame, fortune and football talents and you have one ugly zingaro. :D

shingi - it's probably due to the fact that his face resembles that of Mr. Ed...We're not knocking his game or genuine "happiness" (although if I made what he did, I'd run around with a smile bigger than the gap between Ronaldo's teeth). But let's face it, HE UGLY!

....yeah, I find Zlatan attractive. Damn.

Muntari definitely should be on there.
http://www.ghanaweb.biz/GHP/im...

Check out the wing flaps on Marchisio-
http://www.empolifc.com/_files...

I think Rubinho's unibrow may take the cake.

Why do women think Zlatan is attractive?

Haha, have you seen Bastian Schweinsteiger's girlfriend? Oh and she is a skank. He better dump her.

why does everyone think ronaldinho is so ugly? Nobody sees beauty in someone who is consistently happy and genuinely smiley in a sport full of whiners and primadonnas?

I was going to nominate Wayne Rooney when I realized this is only Serie A...

My vote goes to Taddei (and that's from a Roma fan). I'm not one to judge guys, normally, but his face is abnormally long

I don't know about ugly or handsome, but I am continually surprised that villagers with the torches and pitchforks don't go after Amauri.

I never thought that someone would after the "Frankenstein's monster" look.

simone loria!!!!

http://www.weltfussball.de/bil...

It's that case where ppl are so ugly that they are actually attractive. Like the tennis player Jelena Jankovic. She's hideously ugly but for some reason I really think she's hot. Strange.

So, then, the question presents itself again...

Why do women think Zlatan is attractive? I mean, his nose is only marginally better than Gonzo's...I mean, Chiellini's.

Another picture to further the case for Zlatan:

http://www.antijuve.com/img/ca...

Seriously though, if this were a team award, Catania would win hands down.

Man, just cracked up at Anthony's first comment. I clicked on that picture and had to run away from my computer in fright.

Gattuso is not bad looking at all, he was on the cover of GQ wasn't he?

My vote is for ET in a close second to Emerson.
http://soccerlens.com/wp-conte...

Also, Cassano bears a striking resemblance to the infamous Bronx tale character "Frankie Coffee Cake"

Good call on Baiocco and his receding hairline/ponytail combo Lorenzo, I was thinking of him but as I was listing players I forgot to add him to the list.

France'!!!!! YES!!!

Baiocco of Catania also deserves to be on there.
http://cache.daylife.com/image...

Although I must say that Cavani does resemble the lovechild of Frankenstein and Bat Boy...

http://www.pro-war.com/proward...

If Juric wasn't playing soccer, I'd bet he be happy to give a families kid back for a nice sized ransom.