Sheva is Officially a Flop. Poor Sheva.

By: Martha | November 28th, 2006

Poor, sad Sheva Thanks to London’s bestest tabloid, The Sun, we now know what Roman Abromovich could have bought instead of certain Ukrainian striker: How does 100 Rolls Royce Phantoms strike you? Or perhaps 2.7 million bottles of vodka? The clear implication, of course, is that Chelsea would be better served by bathtubs full of liquor than a striker who doesn’t score, won’t play with his teammates (off the pitch, I mean), and only gets people to come to his birthday party because (according to the ever-reliable Sun) Abromovich tells them they have to or else.

Sigh. Poor little Sheva. I mean, the guy looks sad all the time even when he’s scoring boatloads of goals — it’s a wonder he’s not perpetually in tears now, what with an entire country hating him on a regular basis. Plus, it doesn’t seem like he deserves quite this much stick. Granted, he cost a mint and therefore is expected to score at least three times each game, and to win the title on his own — but really. Would Drogba be scoring at this rate without Sheva out wide, stretching the defense?

However, it sounds as if, as the criticism has mounted and the production has continued to be nonexistent, Sheva has started to pout and stand, which is likely to diminish his usefulness to such a degree that there’s no use in having him on the pitch. Did he pout when he first came to Italy, and it took him a while to get on track? Because Sheva doesn’t strike me as a pouter. If he IS pouting, he might deserve some of the anger, as hard as it is for those of us who adored him for years at Milan to hear.

There is, of course, always a silver lining: The worse things are in England, the more likely we are to have Sheva back in Italy. At this point (since it seems that it won’t be Milan), I don’t even care what team he’s with, as long as he comes back and starts scored goals again. Really, I’m worried about the man’s mental health as much as anything else.