

Stop Press: Figo Desperate to Join Spurs!
By: Martha | June 4th, 2007
According to Sunday’s The People, Luis Figo is set to make a Shock! move to London where he’ll join Tottenham Hotspur, a club for which he’s “always had a soft spot.” In other news, a battalion of pigs just flew by my window.
Now, as much as I love him, I’ll never argue that Figo is the most loyal of footballers, and it’s not impossible that he’ll wander off to somewhere other than Inter next season despite saying he’ll either stay there or retire but … a secret affection for Spurs?! Come on! I mean, really, People — if you’re going to make stuff up, can’t it at least have some degree of plausibility? What, there’s a will-hidden love for Martin Jol sweeping the Portuguese footballing community? It’s the legacy of Darren Anderton, isn’t it? I know I could never resist his silky moves, floppy hair and freakishly tall head.
Anyway, in The People’s fantasyland, Newcastle and Bolton are both interested but Figo only has eyes for Spurs, from whom he expects a two-year contract (This for the man who signed with Al Ittihad because he liked the fact that he could be done by Christmas.) and about £60,000/week. Next thing you know, he’ll be flat-hunting in London. No, really.
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You’ll have to picture the “WTF??” face I made reading that headline, because words can’t do it justice. Is this pure wishful thinking on the part of The People?
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