The Most Boring Transfer Rumors Ever

By: Martha | December 29th, 2006

Little drummer boy. Don’t get me wrong — you know I’m all about transfer rumors. Today’s collection, though, is bland enough to put even the most devoted Serie A-watcher to sleep. So, in an effort to avoid kicking off a massive wave of narcolepsy, I’m collecting them all here, as briefly as possible, so you can skim and be done with it.

•First and most importantly (obviously), there’s no further word on Figo. Since the Al Ittihad website “confirmed” his move yesterday with a story that included quotes from club officials, no one else involved in the deal has spoken — Figo is hiding, apparently, and the Inter website is either in deep denial or so eager for him to leave that they’re not mentioning the story in hopes that it’ll come true.

•Cassano says he wants to join Milan, but is demanding that Real sell and don’t loan him to the club. Because, you know, he’s so reliable and such a solid citizen that he has standing to make demands. At this point, he’s got be like a little, annoying gnat buzzing around the Bernabeu. (Capello: “Did you hear something? I thought I heard something.” *swat* Calderón: “No, I think there’s just a bug in here is all. Thank goodness we’re getting rid of that little Italian bastard.” Capello: “Who’s this now?”)

•PSG are reportedly eying Palermo striker Andrea Caracciolo with lust in their eyes, and the object of their desire claims to be both flattered and interested. The man would have to be mad to leave Palermo now, since he was playing before and will be even more important now that Amauri is out for several months. Here’s hoping he’s just saying nice things to keep his options open.

•According to the British press, Vincenzo Montella has held talks with Fulham, and may be poised join the club on loan through the end of the season. (Wow — a rumored transfer that actually has moved into the talks stage? Now I’ve seen everything.)

•Since Liverpool are suddenly frontrunners in the race for Juve target Javier Mascherano, the Italian club have turned on a dime and are now after Liverpool’s Momo Sissoko who, presumably, would be made available if the club successfully signed Mascherano. Gotta love Juve’s flexibility — they just want to sign several hundred players, apparently. It doesn’t matter who the hell they are.

•Oh, and Buffon? Not going to jail over that whole betting-on-football thing. Shocking, I know.